Light up again

This i'm afraid is going to be a very wordy post. I'm going back to bed, its about 9 40 now, i've got my driving practical test later. Wish me luck everyone! :)

I like to blog about what i'm feeling when i'm feeling whatever i'm feeling. Its the best time to really pen my thoughts down i don't expect everyone to understand it.

I used to think that nothing would triumph over love. Well i still do. Love contributes to who we are and who we'll become. The person you used to be. Love touches you in weird places, it becomes your gravity over time. With it you're capable of so many things, without it you're simple floating around like fine particles in the wind wandering to where ever it takes you. There are so many perspectives to define love. I think i know what love is. I've felt it and it made me someone I never quite wanted to be. I've always been the one to make my decisions, to be realistic. But with love by my side, i let all my guards down and made what was me a we. Then it all came crashing down. Everything burnt to dust. Sure i was battered emotionally but i told myself that love doesn't only come from one source. I had my family and all my amazing friends. What more could i really ask for? Everytime i was in doubt they were the people who'd catch me. Who said they would and never swayed. Even though we've all had our misunderstandings, no matter how far apart we were, they were always there. All lined up in a row. A row of love. Each ready to spam a hug or a shoulder, to sit down and listen to me verbally pour my heart out. Where was the person who caused me to be bruised and battered, he said he'd always be there, that I could rely on him for anything in the world. And I took his word over everyone elses. Its tough, but you'll get over it when you want to. You never blame the others for your misfortunes. Though we all tend to do it from time to time. I feel no necessity to blame here. Generally everyone has to experience some heartache between timelines of our lives. Its an experience to take away. A truly refreshing one. In life chains break like how people do. Nothing stays perfect forever. Try to pick lessons from the things that bring you down. Afterall, every cloud has a silver lining.

Believe. Is a strong word. I've said this before, sometimes when you want to believe, you have to lie to yourself even if its a pinch. Lie comes right in the middle. You believed you could love someone, so believe that you can get back on your feet.
There are lies that can help, then there are those that you will carry for a long time.

Some people say i'm falling right back into the same thing. A vicious cycle of being betrayed with a lot of deceit. I believe that when love steps in, so does betrayal. Its something i picked up on the little road trip i took to get back on my feet. Its my perspective. I don't think i'm repeating history because i know what i'm looking for and it isn't what it used to be. I'm done at least for now trying to find someone who will love me simply for me, who'll do anything for me. Someone who'd fufill the neverending list of qualities that books and movies capcitate us with. I'm not looking for him. I'm looking for me. For me to know that one person should never taint you or make you hate. Love doesn't walk away, the people do. And well we walk right back into it, when does love ever complain? It embraces us everytime we check in and out. Love is still amazing there's no doubt about that. Always remember that you come first. With or without him or her, you've always got love driving you to better places. You can love someone with all your heart, you can dive in head first, just be sure you know how to cushion your fall, cause in the end you might be the one having to save yourself.


"Love capacitates us all. Its the unfufilled drives we wish to take staring out into the breezy night sky and breathing in the fresh air as it fills our lungs, embracing each cold taste as the wind caresses your face. Its the eye of the storm, the safest place to be when the world's wind is caving in on us. Love is beautiful is all ways very much like a rubix cube when it has all its colours right. Perfect in every way. So breathtakingly beautiful."

Even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine, out of the back you fall in time. Is Howie Day genius or what.
Sorry for the wordy post everyone! Hope i made sense haha.